Project Runway Episode 11: Heidi Likes It In The Workroom

Alas and alack this week Project Runway ran out of original subject ideas and decided to use Heidi Klum as the client. It turns out Heidi 'designs' a line of drab looking overpriced activewear for New Balance which is sold on Amazon.com. For this challenge each designer had to create a sportswear look for the line which, by the plain and boring looks of it, is quite convenient as Heidi is in dire need of some new interesting design ideas...
Pan to Heidi's invaluable visit to the workroom. Gretchen doesn't like her in the workroom, and quite frankly neither do I. As Heidi goes around critiquing we sample a wee bit of attitude from sweet little Mondo who snarls, rolls his eyes, and snaps back at Heidi when she questions the wearability of his too-cropped hoodie and stiff-necked blouse. In a huff Mondo decides to scrap his original design and barks at Heidi: "Maybe I'll dress my dog in it when I get home." AWKWARD!! Mondo's had an emotional few days...And then it's Gretchen's turn to flare her nostrils and disagree when Heidi criticizes her fabric choice and use of butt shirring on a pair of leggings. That tense encounter ends when Heidi walks off shrieking "Cheers!," and announces that the designers must create two additional looks (even more convenient for her HKNB New Balance line). The next surprise is the entrance of extra work reinforcements in the form of 'Outed' designers Casanova (essssactly), Ivy (ugh not again), Peach, A.J., and Valerie. And then the real drama begins with Doublesidedtapegate when bitchy and bitter Ivy accuses Michael C. of cheating on the Jackie Kennedy challenge.
Please let's just get on with the show!!!
It's Runway time, Heidi is wearing a blue sausage dress and no makeup, and guest judge is sportswear designer Norma Kamali (good choice for once). Tonight I'm going to skip the part where I share all my thoughts on the looks coming down the runway because all I see is one big billowy production of Flashdance. However I do like Mondo's pieces and Andy's clever use of chiffon and jersey in some unflattering sporty swirls. Who's going home this week? Christopher finally! For the last eight weeks he's made clothes which I can barely recall and which have bored me into a coma.
The winner is....Andy, whose sportswear designs have already been produced and featured in Heidi's New Balance line. And we're now just one episode away from Fashion Week and I still have no idea who on earth is going to Lincoln Center besides Mondo...Until next week, Auf Weederzane!!!

Project Runway Episode 9: It's A Tight Race for Hideous Today

Better late than never, here's last week's PR review. Thanks for your patience xo

My first thought is Heidi looks like a big 'chunk of change' in a too tight satin dress. But on to business, this week's challenge was to create a high-fashion look, think Paris Couture, which will appear in a L'Oreal Paris Advertorial. Huh? It's an online ad I think. Problem is the challenge feels a bit too gimmicky, from winning a pot full of gold at the end of a rainbow of bad dresses, to the designers having to use one of the 'Studio Secret Eye Shadow Duo Finishes' (think metallic, velvet, crystal, etc.) from L'Oreal as inspiration. The lucky winner of this challenge will receive $20,000 from L'Oreal (darn generous considering this season's lackluster talent), and besides being a very exciting incentive, by the time the designers are done with every task of this never-ending challenge someone better be going home with 20K. Besides, April wants a miniature pony and Mondo needs some drinking money...
Back in the workroom Gretchen and Michael C are battling against an addiction to burgundy, and why on earth is Andy wearing a tichel? A few design ideas so far:
Mondo- Kaleidoscope, Ivy- Hawaii, Gretchen- Kimono sleeves, Andy- Warrior Girl, Valerie- Silk
Then it happens, Tim comes into the workroom and scares the daylights out of everyone by announcing that the designers have to create a second Ready To Wear (RTW) companion look. Seriously? Poor Tim is Death's messenger here. More sketching plus another trip to MOOD, and I have major pee in my pants anxiety...
It's finally Runway Time and guest judge this week is designer Naeem Kahn. He makes beautifully embellished clothes and actually knows a thing or two about fashion. What a concept producers!
My Runway thoughts:
April: arrgh it's hard to tell what her garment is on the tv screen, but I like that it's short. Does she make anything else? Cute RTW look though.
Mondo: love the couture feeling and Vivienne Westwood meets Sonia Rykiel stripes, and I LOVE the back. But really don't like the black satin skirt in front. I kind of wish the back was really the front. RTW piece is super cute and wearable.
Ivy's horribly constructed gown and RTW piece look like they came off the rack from David's Bridal Oceanic Line. Cheap, tacky, tasteless. Aaaaaaaaaaaah
Michael C: his over the top gown could kill someone with that massive wired train, but the RTW dress is super cute despite its being very tiny.
Christopher's gown looks like a mermaid at her wedding, accidentally covered in chiffon toilet paper. Thank goodness the RTW dress is elegant.
Gretchen: Yowzers! You know it's bad news when even designer judge Naeem Kahn looks absolutely baffled. It's really just not my taste. At all. The hippy feathered velvet robe looks fit for Kumbaya time around someone's firepit.
Valerie's white gown looks like 'Glinda The Good Witch's' special occasion dress. And that black RTW companion is the worst companion I've ever seen. A blah vision of blackness with 3 little crystal buttons...
Um wait a minute, I'm actually liking something coming down the runway...it's sparkly and inventive... It's Andy South's metallic pleated warrior girl outfit! And his RTW bodycon dress with metallic panels is utterly chic. I really hope he wins...Note to Self and Everyone Else: Of course Heidi didn't hate Ivy's blue bridesmaid dresses as much as the other judges did, because she also has sucky taste people! Also, what's with the judges praising Gretchen's velvet swamp thing caftan? So Valerie's dresses get slammed by the judges and Michael Kors goes on a comedy diatribe about how ridiculous they are, so much so that Nina and Heidi can't stop laughing behind their runway cards. Judge Oops of the week: Nina tells Valerie her dress looks like 'Miss Guatemala'. Poor Val has to admit that her family is actually from Guatemala...One more newsflash: I do not envy the judges one bit. Trying to make sense out of a mostly ugly and cheap heap of dresses is no easy feat, not to mention L'Oreal's having to part with $20K on that account......And Mondo's the winner. I was hoping for Andy in terms design, but I do love Mondo anyways. And the loser? Wohoo it's Ivy. Here's hoping David's Bridal will hire her...
Image source: mylifetime.com

Project Runway Episode 6: You Can Totally Wear That Again (Can You?)

Gaaaah it's a whole load of tacky bridesmaid dresses this week, and only one sound of music comes to mind: "Girls in pink dresses with big satin sashes..." And these are so NOT a few of anyone's favorite things. The challenge this week: Take one ghastly bridesmaid dress and breathe new life into it, making it wearable once again using most of the original 'crimes against humanity' garment. Possible? We shall see...

After consulting with the brave owners of the dresses, aka the clients, the designers were off. By the way, I must commend Gretchen (yes I said that out loud!) on showing some bravery by remaining calm and accepting Tim's workroom critique without crying, despite being called a manipulative and bullying biatch by Tim last week. Moving on to Tim's workroom critique, he thinks Michael D's lace overlaid fuschia gown looks like a "great big oversize bra." Peach's printed gauzy dress needs lots of help, and very uncharacteristically Tim actually likes what Casanova's created, to which Casanova purrs the word "esaaaaaaactly" one too many times...Then Tim springs a surprise to the designers' horror: Tomorrow they will be presenting their designs, as modeled on their clients, in a designer showcase in front of lots and lots of people!Michael C. hard at work

At the designer showcase each client stands, gallery space-like, in a corner with a fishbowl in front awaiting button votes from the viewing public. So far Peach and April's revamped dresses are the ugliest, Gretchen's ombre tank dress looks like it has a giraffe tail on the back, and Michael D's fuschia satin dress with black lace overlay is getting the least button drops. Oh and Michael C is seriously getting on my nerves...Who got the most button votes in the end? Mondo's 'Mod' style pink and black revamped dress.It's judgement time and designer Cynthia Rowley joins as guest judge. I have to say (I sound like Heidi here) Christopher did a really good job reworking a curtain dress, and Casanova's satin pants and draped blouse were fab. By the way does anyone else think Michael D, in his knotted bandana, looks like Austin Powers' Dr. Evil singing "it's a hard knock life"? In any case Michael Kors thinks his dress went from bridesmaid to Bat Mitzvah. That's bad news. But I'm fully expecting Peach's dress to be deemed most hideous, after all Michael Kors thinks her model looks like "she's got an avocado goiter." Holy crap that's brilliant and spot on. Valerie's dress is slightly disturbing with its spidery black straps and heavy chesty bodice. The judges love Michael C's sexy black satin dress and its amazing transformation from dated bridesmaid to cute and edgy cocktail. Unfortunately I couldn't make out the details clearly online, so I leave that one up to the judges. But if Peach's swamp thing disaster is not out this week, I will be holding someone seriously responsible...An Avocado Goiter dress

The winner this week? aaaah Michael Costello! And the other designers are none too pleased. He's just so annoying, and so is his craftsmanship.
Who is OUT? please be Peach, please be Peach, please be Peach....and it's Peach! Her taste level was always on the tacky, but I'm going to really miss her as a person, I've loved her attitude and her outlook. I think we will all miss her, Tim very much included....And so we end on a teary note and await next week's challenge of Resort proportions.
Auf Wiederschnitzelhosen designers! Get that smirk off your face!

Photo source: mylifetime.com

Project Runway Episode 4: A Bunch of Mad Hatters (Hats Off To You)

How excited am I??? But first, I almost didn't write my weekly PR episode recap because it's been one of those no good horrible very crazy weeks. And then I couldn't bear disappointing you who are actually reading so I decided the least I can do is write an abridged version of my usual review (aka keeping it very short). And besides, who else could possibly be more excited about this week's episode than little old milliner meeeee!!????
Episode 4 very excitingly brings the divinely renowned milliner/hat designer Philip Treacy to guest judge the designers' next challenge: Create a look inspired by a Philip Treacy hat. Inspiring indeed! You see, Mr. Treacy is a hat king among hat kings, a delectably talented milliner, a true artist and avant-garde visionary whose designs are covetably looked up to by designers such as myself. To create a garment fit to be worn with a Philip Treacy creation is, as Michael Costello aptly puts it, the Holy Grail. So now that I'm finished dripping with the compliments, here are my short but sweet thoughts on a workroom full of mad hatters...

First off, I'm thinking Tim Gunn and Philip Treacy would make a fab couple. Next, I'm in awe of the fantastic headpieces each model is wearing, except for maybe the large orchid hat which looks like a huge Georgie O'Keefe phallic symbol. Back in the workroom Casanova is still delusional until Tim stops by and slaps him out of it by inquiring: "Haven't we all seen this dress 100 times before? To me it says Donna Karan 1988." Oh how I love Tim so.
It's Runway time and Heidi looks like she's got a huge thorn growing out of her forehead.
Thoughts on first looks: -Absolutely love Michael D's pleated cardboard-like architectural look, it goes beautifully with his 'Madonna Rides Again' sinamay couture hat
-Christopher's vintage rose coat dress was lovely as a whole but maybe too much for his angular hat. And the satin leggings have got to go
-Gretchen's outfit was pretty hideous this week!
-April's booty shorts look like space age diapers. Michael Kors thinks they're triple panties
-Good thing Andy South has immunity
-Ivy does need to get over herself, it's beautiful but very underwhelming
-Peach, your chosen feathered creation is spectacular. That ladies who are sick of lunching dress you made is so not worthy!!!!
-Mondo's busy polka dot trousers gave me a migraine, and what's with the mustache
-Valerie's red dress and white shrug didn't stylishly do it for me. Underwhelming!
-Michael C has surprised with a very pretty shimmery handkerchief dress which compliments his 'Shocking Pink Roswell Hat' so well, but quite frankly this is a dress I've seen 100 times already...
-Kristin's black and pink satin dress was a cheap mess. Come on, your hat was a large phallic symbol! Where's the sexy time inspiration you spoke of earlier?

And now for the winner of this challenge: Michael Costello! His dress shone, but I'm just as shocked as you are because I'm simply not a fan of his taste level in general.
...and Kristin is OUT! Thankfully I wasn't disappointed with the judges' choice because Kristin's craft-project satin dress was a cheap ugly mess.
For now it's Auf Liederhosen until next week...

Photo image source: mylifetime.com

Project Runway Episode 3: Party At Tim's Place!!

Hello Designers! It's party city this week as the designers must create an outfit out of party store supplies. With party queen judge Betsey Johnson, and a whole lot of excitement chills from Tim, this is just the kind of fashion challenge that makes me giddy with anticipation, and hopeful for a minimal amount of pinata disasters...
After a quick stop and shop at Party Glitter it's back to the workroom, which quickly becomes littered with party hats, pink paper plates, Mardi Gras beads, paper cups, streamers, etc. It's like a birthday party exploded in here, but thankfully I'm also seeing some serious innovation and clever uses for napkins, paper plate edges, and shiny fringed streamers...

Someone call PETA! Do you know how many stuffed animals Casanova maimed in the making of his garment?...Between him and Gretchen's unsolicited opinionating I can't wait for Tim to burst through the door already with his suave brand of comic relief critique in the form of some very notable quotables this week...Beginning with Kristen, Tim peruses a packet of odd circular trims she is using for her garish creation and comments on the name- "Animal Wooly Balls?? sounds better in French...!" which then sends Tim, along with Kristen and myself, into tearful fits of laughter... Five minutes later and Tim is still chuckling to himself with tears streaming down his pink cheeks. Who knew the impact of an innocent ball joke on Tim??!!... A short while later a composed Tim informs Peach on her uptight design- "It's like you have a piece of coal up your rear end.....make it into a diamond and pull it out!" Eloquence personified Tim x
Casanova is frilled

It's judging time and the designers' garments fly down the runway, some looking sensational, and some looking like beat up pinatas. My top three favourites? Christopher's champagne napkin dress with splashes of colored confetti was elegant and extremely wearable, Andy South's black woven ribbon dress (which he barely finished thanks to some generous help from a couple of fellow designers) was fabulous and very Versace, and Valerie's monochromatic napkin cocktail dress was perfectly executed and oh so chic. The worst offenders of this challenge included A.J.'s pink 'everything but the kitchen sink' dress which threw up birthday cake all over his model, Kristin's seaweed pinata, Sarah's 5th grade plastic and paper cut-out palm tree frond project, and of course Casanova's Jekyll and Hyde ode to frilly table cloth couture. I literally laughed out loud when judge Michael Kors called Casanova's model "a transvestite flamenco dancer at a funeral." Brilliant. Though I may sometimes be uninspired by Michael Kors' immaculate sportswear design aesthetic, I will NEVER tire of this man's quotables...
And the winner of this challenge is... Thankfully not Gretchen again, though her three piece metallic chevron-cut streamer skirt, rumpled paper bag biker jacket and tank top were pretty darn impressive... It was Andy South's intricately dark ribbon stunner! Congratulations you deserved it!
Meanwhile Sarah's palm tree cut-out dress was OUT as we sadly say goodbye to one more designer. Auf wienerderhausenzein! (one day I'll get that spelling right)...


Image source: mylifetime.com

Project Runway Episode 2: Delusions of Grandeur

Hello Designers! As many of us are still reeling from McKell's undeserved departure and cocky-headed Jason's shockingly safe slide into home last week, it's on to the Atlas (their dorms) roof where Marie Claire's Editor in Chief Joanna Coles presents the designers with their next big challenge : design a look that epitomizes the Marie Claire woman. This look will be photographed, blown up huge, and featured on a Times Square billboard. Sounds easy enough, that is if you read Marie Claire magazine and are familiar with the MC woman. What if you have a subscription to ELLE instead? I'm just saying....
After 30 minutes of sketching the designers make their first field trip to Mood. Gosh I never could figure out how each designer manages to choose a decent fabric out of hundreds of rolls in the torturously short time limit Tim gives them...But that's neither here nor there. Back in the workroom tensions begin to surface as we get our first small glimpse of designer claws. First April mutters on about Kristen being hot headed, then A.J. refuses to help Casanova with some pattern making advice. Is everyone slowly starting to unravel at the seams???!! Nah, I just liked that pun:)
Tim's critique starts off positively as he admires Valerie's red trench dress idea, and then descends on to Casanova's ultra conservative navy sailor jacket which he admits is going from... "prostitute to a virgin?" compared to last week's barely there fiasco. Tim thinks it's more like a nunnery. After a few more Little Miss Riding Hood and Blanche Deveraux comments, Tim smacks the designers with a new challenge element: tomorrow morning each designer will have a photo shoot with Marie Claire's photographer to produce an image which will portray each designer's billboard vision, and which will also be considered in the judging...
At this point I have just one thing to say: I would rather go naked than EVER wear Jason's 'infinity 8' dress. It's ugly, it's silver satin, it looks poorly made, it's kept closed with safety pins, and his model's belly button is waving at me from an unsightly gaping hole right in the center of the dress. Seems to be Jason's been reading too much 'Biker Bridesmaid Monthly' and too little Marie Claire...
It's judgement time and after watching the various completed garments come down the runway I am struck by one tiny simple conclusion: THE DESIGNERS ARE COMPLETELY DELUSIONAL. Jason has it the worst, Nicholas a close second, Peach still thinks she'll be sticking around after her polka dot sham of a dress (which Michael Kors lovingly deemed an "amish cocktail dress"), and A.J. admits his model looks like she was impregnated by an alien creature, and he's so right. The alien was yellow with a gigantic choking mechanism in the middle (aka a disproportionately huge belt). How refreshing though, because at least he has some semblance of reality...
And now for the good stuff: I really loved Mondo's flirty and whimsical vision and I don't mind one bit if he lives inside his head. The tweed skirt and bow were super cute, and his model looked young and fresh (maybe better suited to Teen Vogue perhaps). Valerie's red zipper dress did indeed turn out to be eye-catching but to me it lacked the modern feel of a fashion magazine heroine. Michael's little brown cocktail dress was the most elegant and well styled out of the whole 'safe' bunch, yet it was too evening-y and dark to be the Marie Claire woman. And last but not least green Gretchen was spot-on for the second week in a row with an effortless navy jumpsuit that screamed editorial modern chic! I really loved how it was simple yet sophisticated, and her model photoshoot screamed HUGE fashion billboard! So Congratulations once again to Gretchen as she is crowned this week's winner. And the cherry on top was Gretchen's winning design being worn by uber model Coco Rocha for the grand billboard photoshoot! Tres fabulous!!!
And boy was I relieved when justice was served and Jason was OUT. And then I almost dropped my laptop when Heidi announced another shock elimination when she told a tearful Nicholas that he was also. Well whoever said Project Runway was running out of surprises??? It was most certainly me, and I'm going to finish by totally disagreeing with the judges for Outing Nicholas. Ok so his garment consisted of three detailed pieces which didn't work but we can all see some fashion potential swirling around in his brain. Was it really worse than Jason's monstrous brown mess from last week? Then I ask you- where is the justice?? There's no two unfashionable ways about it, Peach (who by the way IS this season's Wendy Pepper) should have been ushered off the runway for an utter lack of design inspiration and styling. After all, wasn't McKell made to suffer last week for her poor styling choices? Then I ask you again, where is the justice in thaaaaaaaat???? ...
GAH! 'Peaches and Scream'

Photo source: mylifetime.com

Have a lovely weekend!

Just a tiny note to say please please join as a Follower so I can give away this gorgeous Felix Rey mesh clutch which retails for $240 to one lucky YOU!!!

...and make sure to check out RedPoppy's insightful and always entertaining recap of Project Runway Episode #2 on Sunday. Until then, have a lovely sunny weekend, wherever you are...
xo RedPoppy

Project Runway Season 8 Episode 1 Premieres: And Sew It Begins

Hello Designers! Project Runway Season 8 is finally here and Heidi (with a questionable new shag 'do') and the gang are back with a new crop of aspiring attention grabbers (most of them over 12 years old this season which pleases me greatly) and a load of new 'Twists'! Our new group of 17 designers gather at NYC's newly minted Fashion stage Lincoln Center for their first challenge where Heidi and Tim confess that it was nearly impossible to narrow down the group to 16 because they were all so darn good. So their first challenge actually becomes the final stage of the audition process! No one is safe! And that's Twist #1.
Let me just note one designer who already stands out: Casanova and his impossibly tight red pants who is "taking New Jork by the balls..." I love him already and so will the producers when they make sure he sticks around for many episodes to come...

And now for the first challenge each designer must go hunting in their tightly packed suitcases for one item of clothing which they will incorporate into their first garment. Twist #2: they must pass their beloved item to the person on the right. Darn! There goes Casanova's very very expensive pair of Dolce & Gabbana pants. Twist #3: They only have 5 hours to complete their garment.

Back at the Parsons ranch we are all surprised to see that MOOD fabrics is in the house!! No need for the traditional field trip to MOOD which will save time and presumably money (I didn't notice anyone actually paying for their yardage so I'm guessing it was on the house). Tim arrives in his familiar wise mentor fashion which always sends a warm feeling spreading across my chest. Among Tim's workroom progress comments are some gems: Gaah "Good heavens!", "Is it sexy or is it vulgar?", and the winner of the week:"The cap sleeve worries me"...Like a creepy doctor, Jason (with cocky hat in tow) is distracted by his model's unusually large bust, Peach's garment looks like it's out to lunch rather than fit for a lady who lunches, and Casanova's model is almost completely nude save for a bikini and a sarong hanging by a thread...

This could only be Tim laughing out loud at Casanova's lack of fabric yardage

Mondo concentrates on sketching. Love his spotted bandana btw

And now it's Runway time and it's sure good to see Michael Kors and Nina Garcia back with fresh tans and pedicures, sitting alongside guest judge Selma Blair, sometime actress and permanent surly face (although she does know a thing or two about fashion). Coming down the runway I am loving Andy South's pants outfit which looks pretty amazing, and I LOVE sustainably green Gretchen's beautiful and effortlessly flowy black dress with beaded cap sleeves. Everything else was a blur of garbage bags and cheap taste, most notable being Jason's 'deconstructed' backwards kimono which was stapled and pinned into a drab mess of one ugly bathrobe. Nina's nose couldn't help but flare disapprovingly at the enormous amount of messes coming down the runway. Meanwhile we aren't yet sure how many designers are going home tonight, but according to my calculations for awfulness it must be at least 9... and yep! Heidi announces that the entire group of 6 designers still standing after the first 11 leave the runway, are ALL in the bottom. No one is safe. So who's design is the least offensive tonight?
Let's try and guess via some of the judges' comments:
"She looks like an '80's streetwalker"- Nina on April's Deconstructed (aka unfinished) Tux
"That is Butt ugly"- an eloquent Heidi on McKell's cute but tastefully questionable dress
"She's a pole dancer in Dubai"-Michael Kors on Casanova's scantily clad model. Brilliant. Love it! Twist #4: Nina blurts out some perfectly sexy Spanish in her smooth Colombian accent, and I can tell this is going to be a very different season of Project Runway. Twist #5: The judges are curiously united in appreciation for Casanova's 'fascinatingly bizarre' (aka trashtastic) look, and its clear the producers were buzzing in the judges' earpieces as they too are bizarrely fascinated with Casanova (as I had predicted), and so his awful nostalgic ode to Jennifer Lopez and that green Versace dress from 2000 is, against all common fashion sense, safe. Someone please explaaaaaaaaaaaiiin......!!!
Thankfully the judges were also unanimous in crowning Gretchen the clear winner! The Portland, OR native clearly deserved it. So until next week, stay tuned for more RedPoppy Recaps, thought, and twists on the next episode of Project Runway...
xo

Photo source: Mylifetime.com

Project Runway Season 8 Premieres July 29!

Just 9 more days and Project Runway is baaaack with a new season and hopefully some great new challenges...So stay tuned and stay with RedPoppy Fashion as I blog my way through the season with entertaining and well written recaps of your favorite fashion show!

PS. Goodness, Heidi does look downright frumpy in Season 8's promo photo with Tim...