Project Runway Season 9/Episode 3- Stilted Dreams

Hello Designers! Heidi is looking taller than ever this week and it's not thanks to her towering 8 inch red-soled Louboutins. What was the promise of stilts, imaginative thinking, and larger than life couture-inspired designs, instead turned into one huge uninspired circus sideshow, best described by a line paraphrased from Lady GaGa's hit song Edge of Glory: I got a reason that you're who should be going home tonight...Yep, pretty much almost every designer should have cleaned up his/her workspace and gone straight home after one super underwhelming and very awkward looking runway show that best resembled a deranged Annie Lennox in the video from her hit song "No more I love you's..."

In this week's challenge each designer has to pair up (oh boy do I hate team challenges) and create a very tall look that will be showcased in a very public fashion show in Battery Park. Can you guess my favorite designing couple? The hilarious and gender-defying duo of Josh & Julie whose matador design has romantic promise, especially those patterned black and white pants. Our uber Dream Team is of course Anya and Olivier,  that is until I glimpse their drab fabric choices and even more head- scratching design. Nominated for 'Least likely to get along' Team is the doomed pairing of Victor and Bert who, after a trip to MOOD and $500 later, are still bickering over their dated looking baroque fabrics. Meanwhile The 'Bottom Two' team of Bryce and Fallene has its grain lines all skewed up thanks to Fallene's lack of technical skills and one dark and thunderous looking tutu...Feeling dangerously uninspired and bored, not even Tim's workroom visit could make it work for me. I closed my eyes and clicked my espadrille heels together as I repeated over and over again "There's no place like Paris Fashion Week...There's no place like Paris Fashion Week..."

It's finally showtime as the designers make their way to Battery Park City for the live runway show, featuring this week's obligatory celebrity guest judge and 'fashion entrepreneur' Kim Kardashian. First up is Josh and Julie's matador stilt walking model who waddles down the runway in a very long patterned pant as if she's wearing wee wee pads from last week's episode. Arghgh what is that hideous shiny red tank top peeking out from under a tacky Superman bolero?? Ole!... Next up is Fallene and Bryce's gigantic tulle disaster which looked more like a Black Turkey than the The Black Swan. Becky and Kimberly's military inspired tailoring looks like a circus act version of a Vivienne Westwood suit (remind me why on earth the judges love those huge floppy pants??).... 
Bert and Victor's outdated 'Elizabethan' costume must have eaten up every last yard of curtain fabric left over from a museum yard sale...Anya and Olivier's boring dress of oddly-paired fabrics and weird tailoring is mumsy and ugly. Cecilia and Danielle's gorgeous chiffon pants look impeccable on stilts, the blouse is pretty but basic, and their model's ridiculous bouffant hairstyle (courtesy of the Garnier hair salon) reminds me of Alice Ward from the movie The Fighter...and finally Anthony and Laura's very red and flowy gown is the most elegant and on trend of the circus bunch and also the least of the stilted evils...

Which circus act did the judges tolerate most? Team Laura and Anthony of course... and Laura is the Winner! If it were up to me I'd send 14 designers home tonight, however a weepy and downtrodden Fallene is unsurprisingly OUT. Quirky and cute as a button, this unequipped redhead designer will hopefully be going straight back to design school....
It's Auf Veederhosen until next week's exciting 'designing for Nina' challenge which you don't want to miss! In the meantime click here for RedPoppy's recap of last week's Episode...
-Images via myLifetime.com