Sunday, August 8, 2010

Project Runway Episode 2: Delusions of Grandeur

Hello Designers! As many of us are still reeling from McKell's undeserved departure and cocky-headed Jason's shockingly safe slide into home last week, it's on to the Atlas (their dorms) roof where Marie Claire's Editor in Chief Joanna Coles presents the designers with their next big challenge : design a look that epitomizes the Marie Claire woman. This look will be photographed, blown up huge, and featured on a Times Square billboard. Sounds easy enough, that is if you read Marie Claire magazine and are familiar with the MC woman. What if you have a subscription to ELLE instead? I'm just saying....
After 30 minutes of sketching the designers make their first field trip to Mood. Gosh I never could figure out how each designer manages to choose a decent fabric out of hundreds of rolls in the torturously short time limit Tim gives them...But that's neither here nor there. Back in the workroom tensions begin to surface as we get our first small glimpse of designer claws. First April mutters on about Kristen being hot headed, then A.J. refuses to help Casanova with some pattern making advice. Is everyone slowly starting to unravel at the seams???!! Nah, I just liked that pun:)
Tim's critique starts off positively as he admires Valerie's red trench dress idea, and then descends on to Casanova's ultra conservative navy sailor jacket which he admits is going from... "prostitute to a virgin?" compared to last week's barely there fiasco. Tim thinks it's more like a nunnery. After a few more Little Miss Riding Hood and Blanche Deveraux comments, Tim smacks the designers with a new challenge element: tomorrow morning each designer will have a photo shoot with Marie Claire's photographer to produce an image which will portray each designer's billboard vision, and which will also be considered in the judging...
At this point I have just one thing to say: I would rather go naked than EVER wear Jason's 'infinity 8' dress. It's ugly, it's silver satin, it looks poorly made, it's kept closed with safety pins, and his model's belly button is waving at me from an unsightly gaping hole right in the center of the dress. Seems to be Jason's been reading too much 'Biker Bridesmaid Monthly' and too little Marie Claire...
It's judgement time and after watching the various completed garments come down the runway I am struck by one tiny simple conclusion: THE DESIGNERS ARE COMPLETELY DELUSIONAL. Jason has it the worst, Nicholas a close second, Peach still thinks she'll be sticking around after her polka dot sham of a dress (which Michael Kors lovingly deemed an "amish cocktail dress"), and A.J. admits his model looks like she was impregnated by an alien creature, and he's so right. The alien was yellow with a gigantic choking mechanism in the middle (aka a disproportionately huge belt). How refreshing though, because at least he has some semblance of reality...
And now for the good stuff: I really loved Mondo's flirty and whimsical vision and I don't mind one bit if he lives inside his head. The tweed skirt and bow were super cute, and his model looked young and fresh (maybe better suited to Teen Vogue perhaps). Valerie's red zipper dress did indeed turn out to be eye-catching but to me it lacked the modern feel of a fashion magazine heroine. Michael's little brown cocktail dress was the most elegant and well styled out of the whole 'safe' bunch, yet it was too evening-y and dark to be the Marie Claire woman. And last but not least green Gretchen was spot-on for the second week in a row with an effortless navy jumpsuit that screamed editorial modern chic! I really loved how it was simple yet sophisticated, and her model photoshoot screamed HUGE fashion billboard! So Congratulations once again to Gretchen as she is crowned this week's winner. And the cherry on top was Gretchen's winning design being worn by uber model Coco Rocha for the grand billboard photoshoot! Tres fabulous!!!
And boy was I relieved when justice was served and Jason was OUT. And then I almost dropped my laptop when Heidi announced another shock elimination when she told a tearful Nicholas that he was also. Well whoever said Project Runway was running out of surprises??? It was most certainly me, and I'm going to finish by totally disagreeing with the judges for Outing Nicholas. Ok so his garment consisted of three detailed pieces which didn't work but we can all see some fashion potential swirling around in his brain. Was it really worse than Jason's monstrous brown mess from last week? Then I ask you- where is the justice?? There's no two unfashionable ways about it, Peach (who by the way IS this season's Wendy Pepper) should have been ushered off the runway for an utter lack of design inspiration and styling. After all, wasn't McKell made to suffer last week for her poor styling choices? Then I ask you again, where is the justice in thaaaaaaaat???? ...
GAH! 'Peaches and Scream'

Photo source: mylifetime.com

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